"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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