PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
