Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
