mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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