He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
