also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
