What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
