I'm really into asian looking animals
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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