Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize