After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
