i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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