we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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