There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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