There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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