Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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