I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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