I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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