I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize