did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
