I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
