It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
