Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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