billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
