woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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