I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my shit smells like andre
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
