didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize