your thong is hanging out like whoa
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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