..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The air was thick with penises
I need a burrito and a hug.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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