Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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