remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My ass is underappreciated
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
