I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
