So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
