He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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