we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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