i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
