And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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