Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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