Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you made out with another girl for some wings
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
