i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
