I want to make a zoo with you.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
