I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
