I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
