I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I am naked and annoyed.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
