Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm like, not good at living.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize