then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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