Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
