The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
