someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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