Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize