Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
