did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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