if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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