quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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