How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
