Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
