Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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