ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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