the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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