I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
