Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
